As you may remember, dear readers, I spent this weekend down in L.A. for a friend’s wedding. In fact, as this post is published I should still be on the road back up to the Bay Area (woo for WordPress’ scheduling feature!). Since I have spent the last few days in a city known for its attractive inhabitants, it feels only right that this be today’s Awesome Obsolete Word of the Day post. I mean really, dear readers, would you rather somebody told you that you were “hot,” or would you rather they say you’re a “snoutfair?” I know which one I’d pick.
Dear readers, I know I have given you a number of fantastic obsolete words in the past to help you expand your vocabulary and give you ways to sound awesome in conversations with people. From tyromancy and slubberdegullion, to jargogle and callipygian (which is still my favorite thing ever, by the way), these words have been applicable for all walks of life and demographics…except for hipsters. It has been brought to my attention that no true hipster would use the word “callipygian,” because Baby Got Back is far too mainstream to even dane acknowledgement of, even in an example sentence, and while they might use “tyromancy” ironically, it isn’t all that likely.
So, because I want to make sure that hipsters are equally represented in my Awesome Obsolete Word of the Day collection, here is a word that is just for you, dear hipsters. Go forth with your moccasins and plaid and use it well.
As you know, dear readers, I think there are certain words in the English language that have fallen out of usage that need to be brought back. Much like the way disco is making a come back in popular music right now, awesome obsolete words should be making a come back as well. Today’s word, “groak,” is especially appropriate for all pet owners, seeing as we all experience every single time we sit down at the dinner table to eat…or go into the kitchen…or even look at the kitchen…
As you know, dear readers, one of my favorite things as a book and writing nerd is discovering obsolete words and bringing them back into everyday usage. This little passion of mine is not always limited to just words, however, and in the case of today’s Awesome Obsolete Word post, I’m hoping to bring back both a forgotten word *and* a forgotten practice. Two birds with one stone, am I right? I personally think that having tyromancy make a comeback would be a public service. After all, considering the plethora of fortune telling practices currently in style, why can’t we add a little coagulated cheese into the mix? Can’t be all that different from reading tea leaves, right?
As you know, dear readers, I am a big fan of obsolete words and using them in every day conversation, especially when the obsolete words are particularly awesome. After all, wouldn’t Sir Mix A Lot’s “Baby Got Back” have been even more awesome if he’d said “I like callipygian butts and I cannot lie” instead? I certainly think so.
It is a shame and a travesty that so many fabulous obsolete words have gone out of fashion, and because of this, I’d like to ask you, dear readers, to help me bring some of them back. Like today’s word, “slubberdegullion.” How fun would that be to use in a conversation with a friend, or maybe the checkout lady at your local grocery store? Maybe us using it in everyday conversations will start a chain reaction that results in Taylor Swift using it in her upcoming single ranting about her latest ex-boyfriend. Dear readers, who’s with me in wanting to hear the word “slubberdegullion” in a Taylor Swift song? All of you? Excellent! Now get out there and use “slubberdegullion” as often as you can so we can make this happen!
Language evolves as time passes, and part of this process includes the addition of new words and the removal of others, sometimes to make room for new words, and sometimes because it just isn’t popular to use these words anymore for whatever reason. Every once in a while, this process causes a truly awesome word fades into antiquity, and in this information age, I feel it is our responsibility to bring some of these now-obsolete words back. Like today’s word, “callipygian,” which is hands down one of the most awesome words I have come across so far. Honestly, can you think of a better way to describe someone’s rear, dear reader? I sure can’t.
Sometimes you come across a word that’s fallen out of style in the English language that is just plain awesome. Today’s word, “jargogle,” is one of those words for me. Coming out of the 1690s, I personally think that we should start using it in everyday conversations, if for no other reason to jargogle our friends (see what I did there? I’m so clever.)